When you were a kid…….
You would have flexed the little army soldier with super guns in his hands to all directions making shooting sounds with your mouth, imagining that you were surrounded by an entire army of bad guys and you were the only one left to save this world. There would be a mini world war going on. But you didn’t know that it was just a toy soldier. Or you would have had this car, with which you would have done insane stunts, amazing drifts in between your mom’s feet when she was working in kitchen and unbelievable jumps from the bed to the floor and driving it in every corner of your home not knowing that your dress was tearing off because you were skating on your knees when driving your toy car.
But you didn’t care because you were lost in your own world.
And one day you see your friend driving his new cycle to school. He would have explained you, how great his new cycle was and you go admiring it and wanting to get a new one for yourself. That very day you would have ran home asking for new cycle like the one your friend had. You would have cried a lot or would have done some drama until you had it.Now with the new cycle, you would have conquered almost every street in and around your area showing off to the children there, that you have got a new cycle. And when moving into your mid school you would have got tons of friends whom you would love to meet everyday. Although you chat for hours with them in school you never feel tired of sharing things with them. Everyday you would have loads of stories to talk, pranks to be made and things to show them.
You never knew what was the meaning of “ego” back then.
Moving from mid school to high school, your tons of friends would have reduced to countable ones but the bonding with them would have increased a lot. You would have formed gangs and the feeling of ego would have slowly emerged within you. Each of you would have tried to prove yourself as the best gang. You would never give up on them. You would spend weekends hanging up together with your gang, playing cricket or gossiping about stuff and teasing each others.
You never had any responsibility to take care that time. You were free.
High school to college would have been a bit harder to settle with. Your countable number of high school friends would have reduced a little further. You would still be sharing your college stories with few close ones and still do weekend get togethers with them for few months. Eventually, having contacts with high school buddies would have reduced and you would have started hanging out with your new college friends. You would feel the gush of teen enthusiasm coming out with them. Weekend movies, birthday parties, group studies, culturals, mass bunks would be your new code then. The guts that developed within you would have made you feel different. You would have started acting like you no more feared anything. You would have started doing things that you feared to do, once upon a time. You would have felt invincible.
You never had the fear of doing things.
College to work environment transition would be a like thrilling horror movie. Trying to crack through the interviews and getting a job would be your only goal. A bit of fear would have developed within. The fear of facing the society, in-case you don’t get a job would make you go numb. The fear of answering others, explaining that you are still in search of a job would make you hate yourself. You would have reduced your college activities. You would have isolated yourself from few. Finally somehow when you manage to get into a job, you would feel like you have achieved the greatest thing ever. Your parents would have been happy. Your joy would have no bounds. You would feel like you finally settled down.
You would feel accomplished but you never knew that the harder part was yet to come.
Work place would be the 1st area where you would have seen a lot of diversity. You would have been forced to adapt to that phase of life more quicker than your earlier phases. There would be a lot of difference between you and your colleagues. You would have realized that you could never share things like you did in your college. You would begin to learn the meaning of politics. College days would be like a dream now. But still you would manage to smile outside and make yourself adapted to it. You will be assigned roles and given responsibilities. Your fear of handling these things would grow eventually. You would have few closed group of colleagues now. Now and then you will try to be in touch with your college and high school friends. Even though you would badly want to hang out with them, you wouldn’t be able to. Managing time would be like hell. All of a sudden you would think about your parents and question yourself as, “how have they been doing these for so many years! ” A new kind of respect would develop for them when you realize it.
Now I’ll stay at this phase since I haven’t seen beyond it. I know it only gets harder. But when you look back at these, you can see that you have missed a lot of things. You never hated your toys but you left them behind when you got your cycle or a computer. You didn’t even realize that you stopped playing with your toys anymore. You never knew, how so many friends just became a handful when you went to high school. You never knew what made you stopped sharing things that happened in college with your high school friends. You never knew why you stopped hanging with your college friends after you got a job. Everything would have just changed. Even though some may deny all these and say nothing has changed in their life, they can’t deny the frequency of it happening now. You hardly talk to your close ones or hang out with them. You didn’t want any of it to happen. But it did. You want to badly cling on to all your previous things. You want them all. But you couldn’t and you don’t know why.
All you know is, these things happened because you chose to do it when it came to you. But it doesn’t mean you put them away. They are still inside you.
This could be you, This could be someone else. But this is dedicated to everyone who thinks or feels that your close ones have changed 🙂